Just have a seat, Mohammed_187921. Just...have a seat.

Well. My blog has finally reached 200 hits. Thank You to all those who took time out of their day to give my little corner of cyberspace some TLC. She greatly appreciates it.

Anyway, my computer recently broke. Nothing would come on the screen and would only display some jank-ass checkerboard image when hooked up to an external monitor. Awesome. I've fully realized in my ownership of my Dell Inspiron 1420 that Tech support done via phone is a coy mistress. Though seemingly the more expedited way of troubleshooting computer, talking to an Indian/Middle-Eastern native can prove to be very tricky when it comes to trying to understand what they are saying. Because of this, I opted to use Dell's Online Chat. Worst mistake I ever made.

When I logged on to Dell's Online Chat, I was greeted by "Mohammed_187921" as he called himself. He seemed nice and very interested in me and my problems. Mohammed_187921 also seemed very thankful that he met me at that juncture in his life and definitely wasted no time in trying to make me feel comfortable in talking to him:

2:11:05 PM Mohammed_187921
Thank you for contacting Dell Hardware Support. My name is Mohammed and my rep ID number is 187921 . How may I help you today?

2:12:02 PM Jordan Pelton.
Yeah
2:12:08 PM Jordan Pelton
my laptop screen comes up black
2:12:15 PM Jordan Pelton
ive restarted numerous times
2:12:28 PM Jordan Pelton
and have tried a variety of troubleshooting measures
2:12:55 PM Jordan Pelton
i actually was just disconnected from another rep online

2:13:06 PM Mohammed_187921
Okay.
2:14:11 PM Mohammed_187921
Please allow me 2-3 minutes while I check with the previous case log and help you accordingly.
2:16:47 PM Mohammed_187921
Thank you for staying connected.

And, in fact, I was very impressed. He also began to take a keen interest in my personal affairs which made me feel that much more at ease. For a man I had just met, I really felt I had known Mohammed_187921 my entire life:

2:17:32 PM Mohammed_187921
Jordan, what happened when you connected the external screen to the Inspiron 1420?

2:17:37 PM Jordan Pelton
nothing
2:17:47 PM Jordan Pelton
it came up on the monitor i used
2:18:04 PM Jordan Pelton
1: Auto Detect (analog input)
2:18:23 PM Jordan Pelton
Cannot display (something)

2:18:37 PM Mohammed_187921
So, the monitor that you connected, you were able to see the display - correct?

He really made me feel like I was someone special. I was so at ease and felt like I needed to let him know how special he was to me, too:

2:20:46 PM Jordan Pelton
thank you

I really felt like I could trust Mohammed_187921. He knew this. He soon got me to start experimenting:

2:20:08 PM Mohammed_187921
You will have to connect an external monitor and then press + to stream the video on the external screen. Make sure that the external screen is connected properly.

2:20:31 PM Jordan Pelton
let me try

2:20:43 PM Mohammed_187921
Sure.

2:24:57 PM Jordan Pelton
okay
2:25:01 PM Jordan Pelton
an image came up
2:25:07 PM Jordan Pelton
but it was horribly distorted

The only thing that was really distorted was my mental state. But that wasn't enough. Mohammed_187921 wanted to make sure he had me wrapped around his finger before he took things to the next level:

2:33:26 PM Mohammed_187921
We will now run a test on the system.

2:33:33 PM Jordan Pelton
cool

2:33:36 PM Mohammed_187921
Please shut the laptop down.
2:33:41 PM Mohammed_187921
:)

2:33:48 PM Jordan Pelton
done

I should have known something was wrong. I knew I should'nt have started talking to him. But he just made me feel so amazing, that he really cared. And maybe he did. But not about me, only about himself. Bastard. I started to think something was amiss when he started sending me emoticons. I really wanted to get out, but something about him--perhaps his charisma, or his will--just kept me connected to him. I began to question him:

2:35:20 PM Jordan Pelton
should i do that?

2:35:37 PM Mohammed_187921
No issues, I will stay connected while you run the test on the system.

But it wasn't me running the test. Just him. He then took things to the next level is asking me personal information:

2:42:56 PM Mohammed_187921
In the mean while, may I know the name of the person on whose name the system is registered?
2:46:57 PM Mohammed_187921
May I have the shipping address please?
2:47:58 PM Mohammed_187921
May I have the contact numbers as well - please?

Now the red flares of sexual predatorism went off. I tried to back away:

2:48:28 PM Jordan Pelton
i have no idea

However, Mohammed_187921 used his own rescources:

2:50:27 PM Mohammed_187921
Michael pelton is the person on whose name the system is registered

I panicked.

2:52:40 PM Mohammed_187921
:)

And with that, the conversation between Mohammed_187921 and I came to a close. I think he got worried that I was getting so inquisitve toward the end of our time together, and rightly so. Still, I wake up every morning, scared. Scared that Mohammed_187921 will be there, standing over me, stealing my innocence once again.

My computer got fixed though. Sweet Deal.

I mean, I'm just sayin',
Pelton